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Apple's magical mystery event demystified

Robert X. Cringely | Jan. 21, 2010
The rumors they are a-swirlin'. What will Apple unveil on Jan. 27? Cringely has a few thoughts

* And just one more thing: iLife2010.

Really, though, unless you're already an iPhone or Mac fanboy, the real "news" is the Wonder Tablet. Everyone is desperately hoping Apple can solve the Gadget Goldilocks Problem and build a device that's just right: wide enough to display books and magazines, yet small enough to slip into a briefcase or purse; bright enough to be readable in different lighting conditions and yet offer reasonable battery life; fast and responsive without requiring a hot mitt to hold it; and finally, cheap enough for the masses with affordable wireless options to boot.

That ain't gonna happen, IMHO. Not even Apple can make a device that's less filling yet tastes great, that can fill you up without slowing you down, though they'll probably come closer than anyone has yet.

And if the Wonder Tablet doesn't achieve all of these things? it will be labeled a disappointment, no matter how good it actually is. That's the downside of having a world-class hype machine -- eventually you have to live up to people's unreasonably high expectations.

I just hope they don't call it the iPad. Because every time I hear that I think of feminine hygiene products. That's probably not what Apple has in mind.

 

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